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January 2015



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18th Jan, 2015

So I posted this. Di you notice?

Et Tu?
Still haven't found what I'm looking for. Who will carry my shame, my fear? Does anyone really know what it is they seek until
As before
Looking, searching to see
To Be
A deeper meaning
With eyes wide open
Till they buldge
To fit it all in
Time to sit
Like an enlightend Bum complete with
Looking, wanting,
Finding more than the spare change in his polystyren cup.
Luminous being/s
Looking for the glow

She Aches
For more
Of what she does not know
A piece of a puzzle
Another element to complete the picture
Never Ending Story
A kalidascope of thought and emotion
Buried in the swirling darkness
Awakened by the music

Still Searching
For I Still haven't found what I 'm looking for
But I Maybe
the Start.

3rd Oct, 2013

Wish List

RedDwarfWallpaper1024  Well DWIFABR-1 is all I have to say to you. Red is one of my colours but I'll go for anything that works. Haven't seen any other dishwasher that comes in funky colours.

There are a whole lot of other items stuck to my fridge wall and actually I can't remember what the point of this post is anyhow. Oh that's right. I want a dragon for my birthday. Think it would be much cooler to commute to work on.More reliable too. I wonder if said dragon would be happy if it was fed Rhinos.

15th Sep, 2013

Dear John

Since No one is really reading this bar me and Mr Assange, I spose I can feel pretty free to spill my Guts without any repercutions.

I was think as I always do too much off. John, I wasn't around in this persona then but It apparently was revolutionary enough then and at least up into the '90's to "screw"  Jed and Matt. I must admit I have not read your speech and have no idea what of the rest of it entailed. Well we seem to have forgotten what you said back then. We are really materialistic now and America is "very customer focused". What can the country do for me is the question now. Every man women and cat and dog for themselves. No musketeers here. We have become a selfish, nuclear and immediate culture. Now not then, no patience. No mindfulness.
The more things change the more they stay the same. People take quotes out of context. Have I?

18th Aug, 2013

If wishes were kisses...

The mind. The powerful being that it is.
Just like the Devil's Advocate.
Stunned into inaction
By what ifs
ANd Couldhavebeens
On a Sunday morning.

When the vertical hold
On the DVD player
What does it mean.

What is the point
If nobody sees it

Full of fortune cookie wisdom
A tree falls in the forrest
William,cats and I
Josh a great thinker!

My 24 hours
Stuck on a plane
Or a hyperspace lane
Tobias, the goodness of God.

No answers
Not the right questions?

The Music

And Me.
Who leads who follows

If God is a DJ.
Who's playing who?


15th Jun, 2013

Water water everywhere.

Ok.  We have at this moment in time at this location. Plenty of water. Well at least form my point of view. I am not a river or a flood plain so perhaps my need are less. Any how I am trying to save water- not because of the effect it has on my water bill-none really, but for the sake of the planet. Did you know that there is an obstructive cow who lives at the front who produces nothing but sour milk and that Gaza has only 4 years of clean water left? Get rid of the humans I say.
Well what about Alice and Gippsland or the Murray? Well I have buckets her and there to toss on the garden and... well it is the wettest June since when? Can I drink it or cook with it? Can I save it till February.
The Girl who takes 20 minutes to wash her hair.

4th Jun, 2013

Default position

I'm wanting to change it. I spose this mean I am aware of what it is. Well I have an inkling.  What is a default position? Well it is the default reaction to an event. Not quite "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" but along the lines of that. I have noticed that mine is one of resistance. If you want to cookie, you can't have one, if only because you asked. It's not a rational reaction it just is. I've learn from example that you don't want to do "it", because if you give an inch they will take a mile. No setting of precedence. No one time Marita specials. Everybody asking and nobody giving me any chocolate. Well not enough. Half glass full? Probably.
But really that attitude is not going to move anything forward. Two wolves head butting each other aren't really going to catch the deer are they? No they will just be two hungry wolves with sore heads.
But it is all so frustrating!!! And what does that mean?
" In psychology, frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. Related to anger and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will."

Thanks Wiki....

And as they say in all the Good books.

Resistance is useless.

18th May, 2013

Winter is coming

Well its cold and mostly grey here, 12 minutes from the everywhere. Is it kinda pointless posting this out there since one one is really going to read it even if it does contain earth shattering revelations on the location of the holy grail? No. Not all questions have to be answered but I find that the search for them and acceptance some what cathartic.
I have noticed lately that dancing, well certainly the dance lessons have begun to bore me. By the time I get to documenting any stuff I've already gone over it a million times so the only one to whom this is new is you. Who ever you may be. I believe that I no longer find the classes challenging. Does this mean that I'm an expert, a better dance than Fred Astaire and One Direction? No, it just that I need to move to another level. Or more likely deconstruct everything I've learnt and polish up what I see as terrible technique. An assumption here. Will this one bite me on arse too?
Nonski is about the deliver, leaving Mr Taps minus his partner of 10 years. The Osteo has taken maternity leav , Murda has made the plans known and Russel is becoming more and more distant, slowly drifting towards apathy or perhaps worse.
Where does that leave me? Wanting things without having to earn them? Unsupported, misunderstood? Have decisions have been made without consultation? Did you want to be involved? Do you regret the path, that you took for other directions?
When one door closes another opens. Change is the only guarantee.
What is the perspective of a 400 year old tree ?

28th Apr, 2013

Post Blues Blues

The body is a funny thing. And most of us live in one. It gets tired and grumpy if you do nothing all day. I totally understand how professional athletes and performers have to move everyday in order to feel non grouchy. But then there is the other side
From a certain point of view, I am un- co-ordianted, flobby- yes a new word. No matter what I do or how hard I try I will always look like a whale trying to groove in a China shop without suffocating. Well its not my day job and if i were to take this portion of my life I would probably kill it. I am not the Material Girl, just one wanting to Have Fun. I do my day job well enough to keep it  and to pay the bills. At that point I'm looking for cheap, fast reliable internet. I realise that they are probably mutually exclusive terms, but if you don't ask none will say NO.
So as I hang out in my I love 80's T-Shirt in red with paint all on it I remember how much a don't enjoy flying.
Do I think to much? Stupid question that asks that there be a specific number of thoughts that one should have in any given period of time. Google it and I'm sure you'll send yourself into a wild panic involving nibbled nails and pulled cuticles. Speaking of which I forgot to get rubber gloves while at the shop.
Anyhow  I get back to the thought in topic. I find that thinking about something over and over again leads to the event just not happening and multiple excuses why. When does an excuse become a reason. What it the difference between the two? Give me a Reason?
And why is my back so stiff in the morning? Anyone would think I was getting old.
We have the technology..........


7th Apr, 2013

Problem .. Houston?

Is the only thing that matters Cake? Marie apparently didn't really think so, she was just a early victim of the media.  Anyhow the cake was good and I ate to much of it. Am I getting old? Or is perfectly normal to not be able to walk after 4 hours of standing in high heels. Well they weren't runners ok? They hurt but it is a less acute hurt compared to the squish the finger in the bedrail kind of hurt.
I almost get referred to- no actually I did get referred to as Partner but since neither of us has a financial stake in the business or have a romantic inkling towards each other the terminology got changed. That was something I shouldn't have noticed when I was trying not to scream, shout and jump about "FUCK FUCK THAT WAS MY FINGER YOU bed rail....."   Don't worry Ali G I'm not gonna faint. If displacing my clavicle fracture didn't do it, a squished finger aint.

Anyhow I was referred to as the "Much talked about Marita". Now I though we had this discussion before. The answer is " Not a lot dear, what's for dinner? Oh meat loaf"

And why do single women with no intention of spawning think they attract children? I only notice the reactions. I mean just because you are smaller than me doesn't men you don't exist and should be ignored.
Does what I think really matter? Does thinking about it make it a reality? Did it happen if it isn't documented? And if I documented that I did it make something I didn't do happen? The sound of one hand clapping is something I am interested in but have never really taken time to study in depth. If only to have a better bull shit detector. Still can't type well with the squished finger. Now that did happen. My finger still has altered sensation and it was documented. After the fact.  And there is another conundrum....

Time. Never enough of it. There is a movie about this. But I want to sleep in. The birds perched on my TV antenna disagree.

Anyhow I have obviously been away too long. And remember Ladies and Gentlemen, what the man in the flowing white robe said. Communication, especially about the difficult..... topics....

But what the heck MTFBWU

11th Feb, 2012

Well? Where have you been?

Well everywhere and anywhere except here and now it seems. Landed back on planet Earth only to wonder if I was in another realm. The table next door was discussing how he'ed saved $4000 dollars on the engagement ring. The fiancee was sitting next to him.The conversation revolving around the presentation of cute a puppy dog at the dinner table reminded me that I was in Doncaster and not Hong Kong.
Welcome to the year of the Dragon. I wonder if they eat puppy dogs.
My mind is saying that I am busy and that I do not have time to pursue the other things in life. I dance 9 hours one week and then wonder why I have no energy the next. Will magnesium tablets stop my eye from twitching or is it a tumour growing in my head due to underexposure to beings from another planet? Perhaps it is hormonal and I am becoming decrepit and falling apart.
Work is going along swimmingly. One of the pool pumps broke the other day - while my boss was away of course. It was one of the older ones and we where kinda waiting for it to fall apart and die in very small puff of smoke. Finally the engineer comes along - it only took him a week, and it was our fault that he could'nt come earlier. The dude takes forever to figure out what was wrong, and then replaces the motor without telling/asking me. Yeah it's only 8.5K in a pump which we could replace with a new state of the art one for 70K. Sigh. Anyhow the Cheese is making the final decision.
I am still looking for a unity/housey thingo. Looking more closely at HW and HH where I had glanced before. So far the choice is pay X for something with housing commission for neighbours or pay the same price for something 5 minutes away which requires 50K worth of work. I have no energy or time for renovations. Well at least that is what my mind says. I mean how do you mange to work 40 hours a week, commute for 10 and then rip out the bathroom and kitchen? Dunno.

It is strange, ( is it??) that I am leaving for NZ for a week on Wednesday but am pre-occuplied with the real-estate issue. Domain.com.au is more evil than Facebook.

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